A Sense of Place and 100 Years of Style
One of the things I admire most about my husband is his strong sense of place. To know him is to know East Tennessee. To clarify, all I need to tell you is that the man once hauled $500 worth of bacon and smoked salt-cured ham, an heirloom shotgun, and twenty pounds of locally-milled flour in his pickup truck on the same 500-mile trek from Tennessee to our home in Alexandria.
When you think about it, the place is the people. That is what defines it, the culture, the values and the way of life.
I never thought I had the same connection to a place.
Anyone who knows me knows my love for Ohio, but really where I grew up is like most suburbs in most growing metropolitan areas.
But as I packed my bags to go to my Grandmother’s 100th birthday party, I realized the town I was visiting, Stanford, Kentucky, had a profound impact on who I am today. So does the person who lives there, Elsie Butcher.
As a kid, I always loved going to Kentucky. I found the drive through the rolling hills to be peaceful and I dreamed of living on one of the beautiful horse farms with black wooden fences. My Grandmother’s home was on a 500-acre cattle and tobacco farm, a departure from my suburban life in Cincinnati or Columbus. We got eggs every day from a chicken house, there was a huge garden where we gathered vegetables, a pond where we fished, and there was always a German Shepherd that lived outside, who was always named “Governor,” even if he was a new dog from the last visit. We played the card game Rook every night and people would stop by just to visit –unannounced. There simply are no strangers in Stanford and living life unguarded is a liberating thing.
Because of this small town southern influence I love grits, I know what a double-first-cousin is, I write thank you notes, and I don’t let my kids wear shorts and a tee shirt when they go on an airplane. Perhaps I live life a little less guarded, too, and can be a bit of a pistol.
My Grandmother started teaching at age 18 after attending two years at Berea College, a school for working class kids, during the Great Depression. She worked and didn’t have her first child, my mother, until she was 30. This pattern was unheard of at that time. To say she has a strong personality would be an understatement.
She loves politics, books, garden club, and she is always, and I mean always, dressed. It made an impression on me as a child that appearance was important to her. A 25-year educator, she linked the decline in school discipline with the increasing casualness of teacher attire.
Even now, at age 100, she still gets dressed. We are talking outfits and all the accessories — and not just on Sunday. It truly is amazing. To this day, we will go to the town 20 minutes away to the nearest chain restaurant and she has on slacks, a button shirt, sweater and jewelry. There is always lot of jewelry. I can remember sitting at her jewelry case as a child and trying on all her cocktails rings and bracelets, yearning to be older so I could wear them.
Every fall she would take me shopping to get new clothes for school. We would go to The Hub, a family owned department store one county over, or we would go the local “dress shop” once I got older and could wear adult sizes.
Without a doubt, this is where I get my love for fashion and shopping at smaller, locally-owned stores. I always loved the feel of going into a small store where everyone knew one another and you would literally stay for hours trying on clothes and talking about where you would wear them. That was really the more important part of the conversation.
When I went through photos this weekend I was amazed at how many pictures there were of us all dressed for dinner at her home. The table was set with china, silver, and flower arrangements my Grandmother had done on her own. There was always a reason to celebrate it seemed.
I wish I did a better job of carrying on some of her traditions. I think I have used my China two times in 17 years of marriage. Clearly I need to live up to my raising a little more often.
I know that I don’t have much more time with my grandmother. I also know how extremely fortunate I am to have had her in my life for this long. Not many kids get to know their Great Grandmother — and mine do.
It is my hope that this distinctive relationship with this iconic woman gives my kids even a little sense of place in this idyllic corner of Kentucky — they’ll be better people if it does.
- About the boutiques
Heard the buzz? The Shoe Hive & The Hive are a pair of luxury boutiques in Old Town Alexandria. Featuring both big name designers like Rag & Bone and Stuart Weitzman and smaller brands like AGL and L'Agence, our unique selection and impeccable service are what set us apart.
The Shoe Hive The Hive
127 S. Fairfax Street 301 Cameron Street
Alexandria, VA 22314 Alexandria, VA 22314
703.548.7105 703.548.7110
4 Comments
what a lovely piece, elizabeth! i, too, am from kentucky, which gives me added appreciation for this piece. and grandmothers can have such a special place in our lives! thanks for sharing this! and…happy birthday to your grandmother!!
Great narrative about my mom. All true and meaningful comments about life growing up on a farm in Kentucky. I am lucky to have Elsie as a mother and Elizabeth as a daughter. LOVE YOU BOTH!
What a great tribute to an amazing woman!
Terrific piece, Elizabeth.