why are people talking about your clothes instead of you?
I often have women tell me that they want people to pay attention to them, not to their clothes. This is usually stated as a reason not to express their personal style or worry much about their image. But, the reality is that people are more likely to talk about your clothes when something about your outfit is “off” than when your look is stylish and put together.
Here are some ways that clothes can be a distraction.
1. Bad Fit: If your clothes are too big for you, you look swallowed up by your clothing; our view of you is obstructed. If clothing is too binding, you look uncomfortable; your audience sees the misfit and feels uncomfortable for you.
2. Age Inappropriate Dressing: People can make this mistake at any age. A woman moves into her 30s and is still dressing like a college student and can’t be seen for the woman she’s grown into. A sixty-year-old tries to capture a memory of her youth by wearing trendy clothes from the junior department and ends up looking like a character and not a genuine person.
3. Wearing Unflattering Colors: When you wear clothing in colors that are too strong for your complexion, hair and eyes, they are the attention getters, not you. On the other hand, clothes that are too muted or faded for your coloring could make you look sickly or invisible, in which case, it’s impossible to exude presence or power. And, too many colors worn at once can make someone think you’re wearing a costume, not an outfit and your clothes end up creating a spectacle rather than a connection.
4. Expired Style: This may be exemplified by a lack of personal style or an outdated style. When people have neglected themselves for a year or two or more, it shows. Personal style requires updating to avoid getting lost in a decade. What you wear offers clues about you. If all your clues point to 1995, the subliminal message you’re sending is that you’re out of date with yourself, and possibly business life and other relationships.
It can seem like it would take a lot of time, effort and money to update your style and present yourself in the most flattering way but in the right hands, you could be looking like your best self in the next week. With some education and a few adjustments to your wardrobe, you can be in clothes that fit, flatter and suit you best. And even better, it’ll all look effortless on your part. I’d love to help you make it happen. Call me and we’ll set up a review session and get started.
2 Comments
I agree with all the above but I would also pose another point of view that people pay attention to someone’s clothes in a positive way – that a person’s style as well as their confidence can be a source of inspiration and ideas. A piece of wisdom I received from a local boutique owner is that if you have to “work” the piece to much don’t buy it ! In addition shopping at all the wonderful local shops in Alexandria you’ll never go wrong. And of course reading the Alexandria Stylebook and working with its stylists!
Absolutely, Pam! I am constantly inspired by the great style of other women. I love people watching and getting ideas from what other women are wearing.
I like your piece of wisdom about not trying to “work” a piece to much. I recently heard a colleague call this the “three ifs and a maybe rule”. If you find yourself saying: well, what if I took the sleeves in, what if I add a statement necklace, maybe I could belt it and so on, then you’re trying to “work” the piece too much and it’s just not right.