An Ode to Molton Brown

by Elizabeth Cestrone | 05.31.17

Full disclosure: I hate taking baths. People’s reactions upon hearing this tidbit range from a heavy eye roll (because who hates baths) to a quickfire speech about how “Baths are so amazing how can you hate them they’re so relaxing don’t you like being relaxed?!” which I’m sure is intended to change my mind about baths, but never does.

I’ll be honest, baths freak me out. I clean my tub, but do I clean it well enough? Why is there still a random long hair floating in the water when I haven’t had long hair in a WHILE? Also, I really don’t find the idea of sitting in a puddle of water appealing, particularly when said puddle is expressly designed to get me clean, but doesn’t because I get into the puddle while dirty. Standing water, people! Mosquitoes! Malaria! Zika! They warn you about these things in Girl Scouts. (I’m assuming; I was never actually a Girl Scout.)

However, my recent knee injury, as well as my foot sprain in the fall, have meant that I’ve been taking baths. Thankfully, Brandon is both a champion and strong enough to lift me in and out of the tub, and save one incident in which he told me he and the dog would be “back no later than 12 minutes!” and left me sitting like a wet egg in a drained tub for TWENTY-THREE MINUTES, the bath tub experience hasn’t been horrible.

One thing that’s made my bathing circumstances significantly more bearable, though, is something I tell customers about day in and day out: Molton Brown. Their body wash scents have buoyed many a long-day shower over the years, but these products also function as bubble bath! And for real, why bother taking a bath if there aren’t bubbles involved? Since I discovered the line years ago — before they changed all their names and threw everyone for a loop — I’ve tried so many of the scents that it’s become increasingly difficult to pick a favorite.

If you’re feeling low and need a pick-me-up…

Try: Orange & Bergamot

Why: Because it smells like happy sunscreen and a beach vacation.

Try: Bursting Caju & Lime

Why: Because it smells like a summer cocktail on the patio of your beach house.

If you’re feeling sexy and mysterious…

Try: Coco & Sandalwood

Why: Because it smells like getting ready for date night.

Try: Pink Pepperpod

Why: Because it will make you smell like you are The Most Interesting Woman in the World.

If you’re feeling sharp and sassy…

Try: Black Peppercorn

Why: Because it smells like rich, fragrant soil — trust me, it’s amazing.

Try: Suma Ginseng

Why: Because it will make you smell like you are (or know) The Most Interesting Man in the World.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to chill…

Try: Ylang-Ylang

Why: Because it smells like a spa day. Enough said.

Try: Gingerlily

Why: Because it smells like a comforting hug from the ultimate mom.

Done with your bath? Great! Carry on your chosen experience with the lotion that matches the scent of your body wash/bubble bath! Some of them even come in hand soap and hand lotion, so if you’re really obsessed, you can coordinate your scent all day long.

Molton Brown Body Wash, $30 | Molton Brown Body Lotion, $42
Molton Brown Hand Wash, $28 | Molton Brown Hand Lotion, $34